Most people, especially Westerners, on hearing the term Self-enquiry for the first time probably suppose it to be some kind of therapeutic psychological analysis. However, it has a special meaning in the Ramana way. One approaches the subject cautiously and humbly because it is easily misunderstood. In my opinion Self-enquiry (atma vichara) is a problematic term and it can even be misleading if taken too literally. This is because Sri Ramana repeatedly said that since the Self is absolute consciousness, it is not an object of meditation. You cannot know, let alone see, the Self. You can only BE it. Which is what you are. Paradoxically, the Self which is beyond duality cannot even be said to know itself, so how can there possibly be any enquiry into it?

So what then is the enquiry? It is the search for the source of the ‘I’-thought which is pure consciousness, the Self. Because the ‘I’-thought (Aham-vritti) is the root thought without which there can be no other thoughts, it is implicit in all thoughts. ‘Without the Aham-vritti there can be no other vritti, but the Aham-vritti can subsist by itself without depending on any other vritti of the mind. The Aham-vritti is therefore fundamentally different from other vrittis. ‘I’ is ambiguous, thereby causing confusion because it can refer to both the illusory or false self (ego is ‘I’ in Latin) and the real Self (atman). Atman is identical with Brahman but very few people can ever realize this. Some people might even consider this statement to be blasphemous but they do not understand it, being unable to conceive of the total dissolution of the ego. Sri Ramana stated, “The ‘I’ casts off the illusion of ‘I’ and yet remains as ‘I’. Such is the paradox of Self-Realisation. The realised do not see any contradiction in it.”

It is my understanding of Bhagawan’s teachings that the ‘I’ in the ‘Who am I?’ question is the ego, NOT the Self. This question is not concerned with any kind of psychological investigation. Indeed there is no answer to it, as its purpose is simply to silence the mind and introvert it. Doubting its existence by asking ‘Who am I?’ finally makes it disappear, vanish like the ghost that it is. In Sri Ramana’s terminology, the mind and ego are synonymous. Bhagawan says, ‘In the enquiry ‘Who am I?’, the ‘I’ is the ego. The question really means, what is the source or origin of this ego?’ Again, ‘One must find out the real ‘I’. Trying to trace and find its source, we see it has no separate existence but merges in the real ‘I’.’ Far from being dry, Self-enquiry is an adventure but it is not detective work. If the enquiry ‘Who am I?’ were a mere mental questioning it would not be of much value. The very purpose of Self-enquiry is to focus the entire mind at its source. It is not, therefore, a case of one ‘I’ searching for another ‘I’.

Sri Ramana compared the process of Self-enquiry to a dog tracking. ‘Self-enquiry by following the clue of Aham-vritti is just like the dog tracing its master by his scent. The dog holds on to that scent undistractedly while searching for him, and finally it succeeds in tracing his master. Likewise, in your quest for the Self, the one infallible clue is the Aham-vritti, the ‘I-am’-ness which is the primary datum of your experience. No other clue can lead you direct to Self-realization.’ So, if you hold onto the ‘I’-thought with sufficient persistence and determination, other thoughts will fly away of their own accord. If you mean that other thoughts distract you, the only way is to draw your mind back each time it strays and fix it on the ‘I’. As each thought arises, ask yourself: ‘To whom is this thought?’ The answer will be, ‘to me’; then hold on to that ‘me’.

In Self-enquiry, the subject is its own object as it were. Sri Ramana called this method the direct method because all other methods are dualistic, employing the mind in their practice. He used to say that to ask the mind to kill itself is like asking the thief to turn into a policeman and catch the thief who is himself. ‘I have a mind and I want to kill it’ is a futile attitude incompatible with Self-enquiry. How can the ego ever eliminate itself? The rope never was a snake so killing it is out of the question. Self-enquiry is only possible on the understanding that the ego is unreal. Another way of saying this is to declare that the ego does not exist. ‘What is the standard of Reality? That alone is Real which exists by itself, which reveals itself by itself and which is eternal and unchanging.’ The practice of Self-enquiry then brings about the total experience of this unreality, this passing show. Sri Ramana assures us that eventually the mind merges into the Self, ‘dissolved like a salt doll in the sea.’

“People ask me how to control the mind. I reply: ‘Show me the mind.’ The mind is no more than the series of thoughts. How can it be controlled by one of those thoughts, namely the desire to control the mind? It is foolish to seek to end the mind by the mind itself. The only way is to find the mind’s Source and keep hold of it. Then the mind will fade away of itself. Yoga enjoins Chitta-vritti-nirodha (repression of thoughts); I prescribe Atmanveshana (quest of the Self), which is practicable.” It must be emphasized that Self-enquiry is not so much the effort to stop the mind thinking by continually rejecting thoughts, as to find its source and abide there. It is better to ignore thoughts rather than to fight them, thereby giving them oxygen. Try not to pay them any attention but let them be like clouds in the sky. Some people confuse thinking with consciousness, so that they are afraid that being thought-free will mean falling into a void. The practice of Self-enquiry requires great courage because of the lingering fear that the disappearance of the ego means a complete loss of identity.

The state of ‘no mind’ does not mean that one becomes a stone Buddha and can no longer function normally, but that one has overcome the sense of individuality and of being the doer. This is mysterious to us who are as yet ignorant but everything then happens spontaneously without any will or desire. Self-realization is so elusive because the Self cannot be objectified. The ego is fundamentally the ‘I am my body’ idea and it only appears to exist because of this objectification. Loss of body consciousness or ceasing to identify oneself with the fascinating physical body seems to be near impossible, but Sri Ramana demonstrated complete transcendence in his impeccable earthly life by enduring the agony of his sarcoma with total serenity and lived in perfect love and service of mankind. Moreover, he could have cured himself at any time. Let us pray for his grace without which Self-enquiry is impossible.

Courtesy: Mountain Path