The Madman was sitting in the cottage, clapping his hands and saying,
‘Sitaram, the bathing water is beautiful, it is very good’, when
Haladhar came and asked, ‘O Mad Thakur, now-a-days, don’t you draw
water to bathe? Where is your bathing water?’
Madman: This water cannot be seen. It gushes down from Hari’s feet and
falls on my head. It enters into the body through the
Brahmarandhra and washes away all the dirt and grime, and
makes us clean. Sitaram Sitaram.
Haladhar: Is the outer and inner dirt washed away if we bathe in that
water?
Madman: Certainly (quotes a verse in Sanskrit)
Haladhar: What does it mean?
Madman: I meditate on the One, who is as dark-hued as a large
black-bee, wide-eyed, ever-conscious and joyful. I bathe in His grace
and I am cleansed.
Haladhar: Please explain it properly.
Madman: Ever-present, Shining and Dear; these are three of His
qualities. The blue sky itself is the eye of the Nameless, Formless
Being. He is looking unblinking at us. We are bathing and getting
cleansed in His light. Aha! Aha! Aha!
The Madman’s body shivers with ecstasy and tears flow from his eyes.
After a while Haladhar speaks.
Haladhar: O mad Baba, you said that your bathing water was not
visible, but your bathing water is flowing from your eyes and
drenching your body.
Madman: Sitaram, Sitaram.
Haladhar: Well, what is the inner and outer dirt?
Madman: The gross body made of five elements is the outer dirt. The
subtle body made of the five pranas, mind, intellect, and the
ten senses and karana deha, the embodiment of ignorance, is
the inner dirt. Both have to be cleansed.
Haladhar: What is to be done after washing them?
(Madman speaks in Sanskrit)
Haladhar: Please translate this and explain to me.
Madman: I am Achyuta. That is, I am always the same. I am
boundless; I am joy; I am eternal; I have no decay or rise; I am the
sole Being; I have no alternative; I am formless; I am the eternal
knowledge and bliss; I am unborn; I am the manifest; I am the Reality
and I am free from the cycle of birth and death. I am eternal and
free. Think of it in this way.
Haladhar: Is it easy to conceive this? I have a tongue, so I can
somehow utter the name of Rama. But I am unable to think in these
terms.
Madman: O, My Thakur, has said, ‘If you cannot conceive of it, keep
repeating these qualities of God. If you practice this for a year, you
will surely become free.’
Haladhar: I do not understand it. How can I be freed by simply
uttering these words?
Madman: Inside you, an upward current flows. These words are
infinitely powerful and, carrying them around, the
Prana becomes helpless. When the billions of universes are
illuminated by the mere light reflecting off His little nail, how can
His feet be located and reached? These are His names. The
prana becomes powerless to proceed further, falls in the
source and is immersed in nectar. Jai Sitaram, Jai Sitaram.
Haladhar: Where is it immersed?
Madman: Yoga Taravali says, ‘In the human heart there is an empty
space called Trikuta. If the life-breath is fixed on that
place, only Kumbhaka remains and the Prana, leaving
Ida and Pingala disappears in it.’ Do you understand
Sitaram, how freedom is achieved?
Haladhar: This is like shifting one man’s burden to another. Yoga
Taravali says that by performing the Uddiyana,
Jalandhara and Mulabandhana, the serpent-like
Kundalini is roused from sleep and Prana Vayu enters
the path of Sushumna. Are you telling me something else?
Madman: This Kundalini is very difficult to find. She cannot
be found simply by practicing these locks. In Mantra yoga, it
lives in the image of the deity. In the Laya yoga, it exists
in the point of meditation. Its abode is also in light in
Hatha yoga. It is roused by the chanting of the name of Rama
as well as by the japa of Gayatri. It also wakes up if one
can cry, ‘Mother, Wake up Ma’ like a child. As soon as it rises, the
task is done, the citadel is conquered. Sitaram Sitaram. One
bathes in the confluence of the three streams.
Haladhar: What needs to be considered is the distance between me, the
tiniest worm, and God, full of infinite godliness.
Where is my godliness? Where is my power? Where is my omniscience? If
I still say that I am Brahma, is it not a mad man’s raving? He is the
Sun, I am a ray. He is the Ocean, I am a wave. So great is the
difference between Him and me.
Madman: Is not the sunray, the Sun? Is not the wave, the ocean? Where
have the ray and the wave come from? Where will they go?
Haladhar: The ray has come from the Sun and will merge in the Sun. The
wave has risen from the breast of the ocean and will settle back in
the ocean.
Madman: Then if the wave thinks that it is the ocean, is there any
harm in it? Which other path is there? When the mind returns to its
source it will be absorbed in it. Sridharaswami refers to ‘Both, the
soul and the Supreme’.
When Krishna disappeared from the dancing arena, the gopikas,
while searching for Him, attained a state of engrossment in Him. The
feeling of being Krishna arose in all of them. Prahlada forgot
himself, and could not know anything other than, ‘I am the changeless,
eternal supreme soul.’ These are not tales about enlightened beings,
but devotees. The person will become what the mind accepts. When hit
by the arrow of Ramachandra, Marich fell into the sea and saw Rama
everywhere. He said, ‘I see Rama everywhere.’ Kansa reached a similar
state. While sitting, standing or moving about, Kansa thought of
Hrishikesha and saw Krishna everywhere in the world. Shishupal also
reached absorption by the route of malice. Marich, Kansa, Shishupal
and such other asuras were not devotees and in spite of being
in His physical presence, could not have the realization that ‘I too
am He.’ Salwa became four-armed while meditating on Vasudeva. Go on
worshipping, ‘Be God, Worship God.’
In tantric sadhana, the phrase ‘I am He’, is used for
Bhutashuddhi etc. Whatever sadhana you engage in,
you must remember that you are not the material body but the
consciousness. Sadhana is there to realise that despite not
being separate, you have started treating yourself as separate. You
are a creature because you are caught in a snare. Your supreme aim is
identification with Shiva.
Haladhar: I do not want to be Shiva. I want Shiva, I am His servant.
Madman: As you go on repeating Daso’ham, Daso’ham (I am His
servant, I am His servant), God shows grace and takes away the
syllable ‘da’ so only ‘So’ham’ (I am He) remains.
But utterance of So’ham and Brahmasmi (I am Brahma)
by those who remain tempted by the world and who do not
perform any tapasya or have devotion, is mere lip service. If
after attaining indirect knowledge, no attempt is made to turn it into
direct knowledge, no good comes of it.
Haladhar: I cannot understand Jnana. I do not derive any joy
from it.
Madman: What need have you of Jnana? Surrender at His feet.
Seek shelter with Him. Let Him do what He pleases. Sitaram.
Haladhar: What shall I do? Should I take a vow of following a practice
of chanting for a year? I doubt if I shall be able to do it even for a
month. There is no end of the obstacles one has to face. There are
diseases, grief and poverty. Show me a simple, easy way and let me
follow it with all possible effort.
Madman: Have you been initiated?
Haladhar: Yes.
Madman: Make the mantra your stay. Chant the name loudly when
your mind becomes restless. When it settles down, chant the
mantra
silently. My Thakur has proclaimed that contemplation of the play of
the Divine is the only way out for this age.
Haladhar: Will the chanting of the name of Rama alone take me
to the ultimate goal?
Madman: Lord Shiva says, ‘O Parvati! The benefit from chanting of the
name of Rama is a million times more than that from chanting all the
mantras of the Vedas. He who utters the name of Rama
even once at the time of breathing one’s last, crosses the realm of
the Sun and goes to the Supreme Abode. Do you understand it?
Jai Sitaram, Jai Sitaram.
Haladhar: Sri Rama, Rama, Rama, Sitaram, Sitaram.
Madman: Absorption comes while one performs japa. During
chanting, when God, unseen, comes and embraces, tears, thrill and
trembling are experienced. The devotee then reaches an unprecedented
state. He softens and sinks in it. What separation then remains? When
the spell is broken, the devotee becomes a true devotee. The
embodiment of love, Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, while chanting
‘Krishna, Krishna’, used to burst out saying, ‘I am He, I am
He.’ About Sri Radha Ji, Vidyapati says, ‘She forgets herself while
meditating on Madhava. She no more remembers her own feelings and
nature, and identifies herself with Madhava. The pangs of separation
rose in her mind. With eyes filled with tears, with the voice half
choked she calls out the name of Radha again and again. Her own body
is afflicted with the pangs of separation from herself. It is not love
if it does not produce this state. O Madman, you just love. You need
not perform any sadhana or bhajan. Just keep on
loving.’
The Madman began to cry loudly saying, ‘Lord, fill us with love, fill
us with love.’ Haladhar too could not remain unmoved. He also began to
cry, saying, ‘Give me your love, give me your love’.
Jai Sitaram.
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