The Mother Divine
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By Sri Sri Sitaramdas Omkarnath
English rendering by Kinkar Vishwananda (Sri B.N.Mullik)

Oh you, who art mine, you are ever-beautiful, peaceful, bright, unblemished, all pure and full of divine Prema (love), deep Ananda (joy), everlasting, forever old and forever young. And myself? I am full of blemishes, deep darkness, the thickened blackness of the new moon (Amavasya)and without even the trace of love. I am hard and rough, strong-headed, arrogant, cruel, stone -like, harder than even Indra’s vajra.

I cannot tolerate your light; how much do I suffer and make you suffer by tarnishing you with my blackness? Oh you, who are verily, mine, you are the bright face and I am the mirror covered with dirt. Reflected from this mirror, even your pure, enchanting, smiling, beautiful face looks untidy.
Let me tell you something today - You are truly ever young, ever beautiful, you are now and you will be so in future. I am thinking how I can see you, understand you and catch you for real. Without your grace, I shall not be able to get you. I lose you amongst many and sob, and I shall go on sobbing. Oh, the most desired of my heart, please hear what is in my mind. If I become your son and you my father, and if I criticize your work, your method and even your love and affection, and blame you for these shortcomings and I exhibit to you my own superiority in learning and earning, that is not your fault but the fault of the dirty mirror of my mind. You are unblemished, ever-bright, very holy and very pure and you are the greatest purifier.

On the other hand, if I become the father and you the son, and I find in you, the son, countless faults e.g. you have no reverence for your parents, you are immodest, disobedient and a rebel against the father, even that is the fault of the dirty mirror of my mind because you are ever-beautiful, attractive, bright and the best of purifier. The fault is again mine.

Oh my most desired being, if you become my elder brother and I, as your younger, go on searching for your fault and call you affectionless, selfish, wanting to serve your own ends through me, that fault is not yours, it is mine, because, even as the elder, you are ever-pure, ever-beautiful, ever-soft, attractive and the great purifier. There is not even a trace of any fault in you.

On the other hand, if I become the elder and you the younger, and I go on exposing hundreds of your faults and omissions, announcing your want of reverence, your craftiness, your selfishness, that fault is also mine caused by wrong vision and dirty mind. You are really a younger brother like Lakshmana or Bharata. Due to my dirty mind, I try to expose your faults and in the process I seriously hurt myself.
Oh, the object of my eternal desires, oh, the lord of my life! If you becomes the husband and I your consort, and I talk ill of your so called love and affection and I go on blaming you in public for your rough behavior and that I suffer because you are a heartless, badly-behaved and foulmouthed husband, that fault is also mine; because you are ever-green, ever-attractive, soft and great and you are the great purifier. I try to put blemish on you with the dark soot of my dirty mind.

And if you become my wife and I your husband, and I go on finding fault with you in everything and give you pain, trouble you and speak openly that you are wicked, talkative and without reverence, oh, my dearest, that fault is not yours, it is the fault of the dirty dark mirror of my mind.

Oh my most desired, if you become the Guru and I the disciple, and I go on picking your faults and talk of the variations in your love, your taking sides and lack of kindness to me, that fault is not yours; it is the fault of the mirror of my mind, made of deep, impenetrable darkness.

But if you become the disciple and I the Guru, and I go on searching the shortcomings in your seva and your behavior and find fault in your body, mind and deed and suffer because I have got a useless poor disciple, that fault is also not yours; it is the fault of my mind constituted of deep darkness.
Oh my beloved, whatever there is, it is all you. Oh you are the purest, the ever-beautiful and the ever-fresh. By seeing your reflection in the mirror of my dirty mind, I get so much pain, talk so much nonsense, talk so much ill of you that I become restless due to the burning of my heart. You are the great purifier, you are the ever-pure untouched by sin, you are the object of my love, you kindly cleanse and purify my mind; otherwise I have been hurting you for ages past by giving you one shock after another and I will continue to do it for who knows how long and for how many lives. Only impress on me, make me aware of the fact that fault is nobody’s but mine. Oh my lord, remove from me this habit of finding fault with others. Keep me always engaged in finding my own faults.

How strange! I cannot love and yet accuse others of not loving me. Because I do not love, so I cannot feel the love of the other. The moment I start loving him that very moment I shall realize how much he loves me. He is none else but you in disguise. Oh the dearest and greatest actor, only You exist dressed as the sky, the hill, the river, the tree or creeper, the animal or bird, the insect, the cow, the donkey, the bear, the monkey, the evil spirit, the demon, the human being, the Gandharva, the Kinnara and as every thing that is visible to me. But what do I see? Instead of seeing One in all, by my dirty mind I see them all as different and build the mirage of this Samsara. I am taking as separate objects by my different senses the same You, the only ever-sweet, ever-peaceful, and ever-loving. You the beloved, I take you in, as beauty with my eyes, as sound with my ears, as touch with my skin, as smell with my nose and as taste with my tongue. But at the root of all these is that one great truth, the great love, the great Ananda, the mind of my mind, the life of my life, my dearest you. Oh the object of all my Sadhana, oh my most desired, I study, I hear, I try to practice, but, oh the lord of my life, without your grace I shall never succeed in getting you in the right measure.

Be kind to me, oh my dearest, you exist in the garb of one and all. You are ever anxious to purify me, to make me yours, to make me one with you. Please make me understand, make me believe; create faith in me so that I do not pick fault in others. Please mould me in such a way that, remembering that “you are everything” and believing it with all my mind and heart, I may remain engaged always in singing your praise. Please make me capable of picking up my own faults one by one and offer each fault at your feet so that I may offer my faults to you in puja and thus become one with you. Please bend me on my knees and lower my head,

Oh dearest, thus take away my Ahankar [ego] from me.
Make my ‘I’ yours, so that, I may lose ‘Myself’ and live as yours.